Where I Refuse to Follow

Today I am hit anew with the pain of losing my best friend.

She didn’t die, didn’t move away.

She made choices I don’t understand,

Went where I refuse to follow.

I thought I knew her,

Thought I was a better judge of character.

I’d never considered there would be a time

When I couldn’t

Turn to her,

Seek her advice,

Cry on her shoulder.

But she hasn’t confided in me,

She’s only pulled away,

And went where I refuse to follow.

Things will never be the same.

I have lost a piece of my heart.

To Heal My Soul

To heal my soul,

To fill myself with patience and compassion,

I need time to myself.

Time where I am my only responsibility.

While in short supply, it is possible

To sit and have a cup of tea

To wander among the trees

To put pen to paper.

Ten minutes each day.

I cannot help you if I don’t first help myself.

Betrayed

Anger, hurt, and humiliation.

Shock and outright disbelief.

This can’t really be happening.

My life can’t be changing in this drastic way.

There is no way to fix this,

To go back to the way things used to be.

But there is love and compassion

This new circumstance can’t possibly erase all that came before.

While I can’t stop shaking my head

And I really don’t want to think about what you did

I am here for you.

I will not back away or hide.

You need love and support, not judgement or reproach.

You are Not Alone

You are not in this life alone
There are always people who want to help
Will you be brave enough to reach out before it's too late?

Don't wait until you've reached a point of no return
Think through the consequences ~
really take the time to reflect.

Ode to My Parents

I never thought my parents were old.

Growing up, their life path was my goal.

Even now, seven decades into life,

they continue to inspire and thrive.

Traveling in and out of the country,

and driving through two states to willingly

and excitedly babysit grandkids.

Mom has joined groups to read and to knit.

Dad still takes the soccer field by storm,

playing and reffing, in continued good form.

Enjoying life to the fullest extent,

they are living models for lives well spent.

Coach's Daughter

I'm not a coach. I'm a coach's daughter.

This season three of my kids are playing.

Each Saturday they kit up for the pitch.

I don my layers and drive to the field.

While the team warms up, parents make small talk.

We hope rain holds off, our kids play well,

and the other team isn't too tough.

Of course we hope our kids win the game,

but mostly we want them to play their best.

Life skills can be taught on the soccer field:

Be a team player. Talk to each other.

Know your zone, but play up when possible.

Don't wait for the action to come to you.

Listen to your coach. Get into the game.

Take the shot if you can. If you can't, pass!

Don't stand still. Go to the ball. Help your team.

If it's yours, take it and run to the goal.

Take defeat with grace. Win with even more.

I'm not a coach. I'm a coach's daughter.

Life skills can be taught on the soccer field.

Anniversary Poem

Although I know you already know

I need to say it again and again:

I love you and you are my favorite.

I could not have foreseen 19 years in

our love would not yet reach a plateau.

Though much has changed, what’s important remains.

It sounds cliché to say our love has grown,

But the passing of time is not the cause.

We grow closer inside a crisis zone.

It’s not that chaos doesn’t cause strain,

But

When life gets intense, I can count on you

to have my back and fight alongside me.

There are days when I feel I don’t deserve

such support given unconditionally.

I know you could not ever be untrue.

This is why I feel the need to repeat

the words you have heard quite frequently:

I love you and you are my favorite,

Unconditionally and completely.

Without you I would exist incomplete.

Behaviors Have Consequences

What? My behaviors have consequences?

Ramifications that are just for me?

That can't be right. That does not feel fair.

I know how to fix this. I'll gain more stealth.

Hiding evidence of my misdeeds

should lead to the results I am after.

Oh no! I am caught. Time to sob and scream.

If you ignore, I'll stomp and slam the doors.

Don't speak unless you are looking to fight!

These are the tirades of one who is a teen.

Yes, your behaviors have consequences,

ramifications that are just for you.

My Favorite Time of Year

Fall is my favorite time of year:

A cool, crispness returns to the air and

The household routine regains structure.

Fall is my favorite time of year:

Blindingly bright, blue skies followed by

Drizzling drops tumbling onto bone dry grasses.

Fall is my favorite time of year:

Snuggle deep under cover while slumbering;

Wear a cozy sweater, but don’t forget sunglasses.

Fall is my favorite time of year:

Take comfort in hot beverages and carb loaded food.

Build a fire and huddle under a warm blanket to read.

Fall is my favorite time of year:

Nature puts on a colorful, vibrant show as

Green growing things prepare for the cold months ahead.

Meanest Parents Ever

We are quite clearly the meanest parents ever.

Obviously! Who else would ever endeavor

to ensure protein is ingested at each meal?

Or reject almost every plea and appeal

for screen time before completing homework and chores?

Natural consequences reside at the core

of our main disciplinary strategy.

And that’s what makes us, yes us, Chad and Natalie,

without a doubt, the meanest parents ever all.

Don't Let My Desires Interfere

Lord, put me where you want me this year.

Don’t let my desires interfere.

The idea of pausing my career

fills me with a little bit of fear.

Even though I know family time is dear

and adoption is a new frontier,

back to school dreams have not disappeared.

Lord, put me where you want me this year.

Don’t let my desires interfere.

Your short-term plan for me feels unclear,

though the long-term goals are crystal clear.

But for the moment that is now here 

I can’t seem to find the way to steer

that keeps both on a course that is clear.

Lord, put me where you want me this year.

Don’t let my desires interfere.

Late Summer Haikus

Summer’s almost done

The kids heading back to school

Bye-bye leisure time

Sure I’ll help you out

Your dog is cute and little

Man, his yap is loud

Do you have a dream?

One worthy of a great speech?

No, neither do I.

Lazy

I have goals and desires

running quite deep in my soul.

But yet, here I sit.

Goals and Dreams

Do you have dreams and goals

living deep in your soul?

Deep desires leave holes;

longings, wants on patrol.

But what if life-long goals

cannot together stroll?

To do each well, I scroll

between two different roles.

Leaving one takes a toll,

though the other consoles

and truly feeds my soul.

A Parent's Lament

It’s not my fault.

You made some poor choices.

I’m leaving options open – as many as I can.

One door is shut, locked firmly for now.

If you stop pining in front of it

You will see a myriad of other possibilities.

Not Going Back

Not going back to school this year.

By my own choice my path did veer.

Though you may feel the urge to jeer,

I do not feel regret or fear.

Instead, I am blessed and full of cheer

to raise new children, so dear.

Although it would be insincere

to claim joy at a paused career.

Amusement Park Limerick

Amusement parks are so very much fun!

Why have my children never wanted to come?

The lines are long,

the sun is strong.

Fears, tears, and frustration before the day is done.

Parenting Limerick

If this one is happy, that one is not.

The family harmony that has been sought

is fleeting at best

and parents often feel stressed

attempting to ensure life lessons are well taught.

Family Vacation

    Family vacation –

fun in the sun and sea

usually surly teen seen smiling

gaming and giggling with cousins

fast paced rides and long days

     Family vacation –

tears and fears at the amusement park

sunburns and super sleepy kids

cranky, arguing, tattling siblings

frustrated and tired parents

Family vacation –

grandparents, aunts, cousins

basketball, biking, bowling

swimming, skateboarding, soccer

hide and seek, tag, plastic sword play

   

      Family vacation –

quick, let me get a pic!

When can we do it again?

Seaside with Kids

Let’s go to the beach!

Fun is within reach;

might see a whale breach.

Bring sandwiches, one each.

The waves are too bold,

the water too cold.

The seaweed has mold.

The fun you foretold

is not as you sold.

I don’t want to scold but

these complaints are old.

You can choose to play

or grumble all day.

Whatever you say

I will enjoy my stay

by the side of the bay.

Beach Days

a haiku and a limerick

Have you ever buried your brother in the sand?

Covering his elbows and toes and skin so tan…

Just be sure to uncover his nose

Or there will certainly be woes

When you mother discovers her family is down a man.

We went to the beach

Where the kids dug a huge hole

Choosing not to swim